When Life Changes You

Sometime last year, someone i had dated years ago, who's still a really good friend of mine told me how much i had changed. Apparently, i used to be such a sweet, nice, innocent young girl (still am BTW). He said i used to be so easy going and calm; so trusting and so naive. He proceeded to ask me what happened, and my reply was "Life". I later ran into someone else who i had been close to in the past that said i had such a strong personality, it was almost choking.haha. Then my mum came to visit from Nigeria, and thought i had changed drastically *insert Nigerian accent*. She said i was "too strong" and had this nonchalant attitude towards everything. You see, i left Nigeria by myself at 17 for College. I was such a bubbly child. Life was good; I had everything i wanted, no questions. Then it was time to leave for school. I was excited and so over-joyed! Little did i know that as i was saying goodbye to Nigeria, i was also saying goodbye to my over-sheltered, over-pampered, spoiled little life. lol. I went through some hard times and some tossing around from place to place, i couldn't adjust. So when people were saying i had changed, it was true. I had become borderline mean. I had become very selfish and self centered. I literally didn't care what anyone thought about me. I was gon' do me! (lol, I hate when people say that btw). People had treated me so badly, I was disappointed and disgusted with the human race! haha. No seriously, family had disappointed me, friends had failed me, relationships had sucked out whatever little life left in me, and God had allowed it. How could he? So i had every right to walk around angry at the world, right? Wrong! You kill yourself by doing that. I was literally dying slowly, because i had isolated myself from the entire world. It was me and my books. Nobody would ever hurt me again. But someone was still hurting me-ME. Ah! don't let your experiences cause you to abort God's plan for your life. I see too many beautiful people who have become so hardened because people have wronged them, cheated, used, and abused them. Having such a hard heart that even God cannot penetrate only destroys you. The devil is so cunning! He knows how important relationships are. He knows that he can pretty much get you into his camp if he can cause enough hurt and pain from people around you. If you think i'm lying, ask most people that stop going to church their reason for stopping. They'll tell you how someone in church offended them. Let us begin to realize that God is so loving and does not test us to break our spirits. Rather he allows them because, through our pain, we begin to realize how strong we are and begin to see God for who he is-Our Father, our protector, our provider, our comforter, our redeemer. It breaks his heart when our experiences push us away from him and cause us to have hard hearts towards him and our fellow man. As always, I realize that i'm sharing a lot, but it's okay if it brings someone close to God. As cliche as this may sound, God loves you! And you know what's amazing? His love is so big, it can heal all your hurt in just a second. Don't let your experiences control you, instead let your experiences cause you to develop a deeper relationship with God. Trust me, if you let God have all your hurt and pain, you'll eventually get to the thanksgiving phase, where you'll begin to thank God for allowing people to hurt you. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true!

Love you for reading
Ak