So I'm learning recently to give people the benefit of the doubt. I've realized that somewhere along my Christain walk, I have become very judgmental and unaccomodating. All i seem to notice these days are people's bad behaviors and i'm always thinking, "I can't believe this person did this or said this to me". I notice the little things that other people don't even pay attention to. Funny enough, the more you pay attention to people's faults, the less likely it is that you'll see any good in them. I'm learning to become more accommodating because guess what! I have my own bad behaviors as well. In fact, it is through the knowledge of my bad behaviors that I'm realizing that i need to cut people some slack. I'm realizing that even though there are some badly behaved people, whom we need to dissociate ourselves from, most people have good intentions. Most people don't set out to rub us the wrong way. Let's take me for example. I don't handle stress well. Thank God i have realized this and i'm working on it. I want to be alone and shut the whole world out when I'm stressed and just cry to God. Someone recently pointed out to me how mean, short-tempered and sarcastic I get when I'm stressed, and I realized she was right. If you meet me when i'm stressed, you'll think i'm a brat, and that would be an unfair judgement because you don't know what i'm dealing with. You would be wrong as well, because i love people and genuinely care for people. I'm not rude and i'm not a brat.
But i digress---
Who am i then to judge others the minute they rub me off the wrong way. They too could be having a bad day. They could be stressed and at their wits end as well. They could be feeling down and discouraged. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt like I would want to be given. Instead of judging people, how about being accomodating and showing love. How about making excuses for their bad behaviors. Maybe you'll even get to hear the real story behind their "nasty behaviors", and get to minister to them. Like the good 'ole golden rule states, "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you" Matt 7:12. Here's to change going forward!
This is sooo true. We shld nt b too quick to write off pple bcos we dnt knw wat they are going through at that time.I'm also short tempered wen I'm stressed and I usually have mood swing as well... I culd imagine someone talking to me at dat time.lol
ReplyDeleteHi Gee! May God help us all! Hopefully with this realization, we'll become more accommodating and not so quick to find faults in others. I'm glad you could relate. Thanks so much for leaving a comment as well! Hope you're having a great day. Thanks :)
DeleteIt's all about giving people room to grow and like you pointed out already, 'the more you pay attention to people's faults, the less likely it is that you'll see any good in them'. You couldn't have said it any better. It takes a conscious effort not to be judgemental or overly critical of others, when we ourselves would not have done what they did or said what they said.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I've learnt along the Christian walk is - Never allow someone's bad behaviour change your good disposition. Because they are a lot of sad people in the world; frustrated people tend to unleash their frustrations on others in order to assuage their own frustrations. I believe we ought to be the hand that lift others up and not the hammer that crushes them down. We may not always 'feel' like it but that's what sets us apart from the 'world'. The flesh just wants to blow everyone else off when we're unhappy or stressed out, or worried or whatever. But we do not act by the way that we feel, by the things that we hear or by the things that we see but we're only moved by God's word. His word is the base line for establishing what is right and what's wrong. All we have to do is pray for others and pray for ourselves too and deliberately choose to see only the best in others.
Personally, each time the condemnatory attitude springs up, this is the scripture that comes into my spirit -
1 Do not judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves.
2 For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you. (Matthew 7:1-2 AMP). The entire chapter is quite insightful when you study in other translations of the Bible.
And whatever could or might be stressing you out, this is what the Bible says about that:
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light - Matthew 11:28-30
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you - 1 Peter 5:7
About worry:
And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the [a]span of his life? - Matthew 6:27.
May God's wisdom prompt us to say the right things at the right time with the right attitude.
I love you and welcome back.!
Thanks Nne! So much wisdom in your response. My favorite part:
Delete"Never allow someone's bad behaviour change your good disposition. Because there are a lot of sad people in the world; frustrated people tend to unleash their frustrations on others in order to assuage their own frustrations."
This pretty much sums up everything i was trying to say in this post. Nothing more to add.
Thanks so much. I love you too!!!