Reflections

Today i am reminding myself that i can be anything i want to be, that i can achieve whatever i set my mind to achieve if i'm willing to put in the necessary work.

I don't know if this happens to anyone, but i'm at a point in my life where i feel so complacent. I feel stuck and i'm so hungry for more. I know i should be more. This cannot be all God has for me. It just can't.

Isn't it funny how we always pray for blessings, miracles, favors, etc. and get upset that we've been so faithful, yet God is not holding up his end of the bargain , but James 2:14 states, "What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? Can faith save him?" Many people may interpret this differently, but i believe faith and action go together.

There's this story i heard at House on the Rock, Abuja that serves as a good illustration of faith. A certain man found himself in the desert. After 2 days he was really thirsty, weak, and so dehydrated. He started praying for God to send help, lest he die. Suddenly help came. A man came from i'm-not-sure-where and offered him a flask full of water, but he kept praying and declaring. He kept saying, "I believe that if i drink this water, i will live." He never did drink this water in time and died. I know this story was made up, but it goes to tell you that having faith is not enough. You have to get up and act. He really should have drunk the water and paused his prayer, for maybe thanksgiving after he was a little hydrated.

I was watching BET's "Black Girls' Rock" yesterday and got so inspired by Mara Akil's speech.  For those that don't know who she is, i'll help you out here. She executive produced the TV series Girlfriends, The Game, and the current series, Being Mary Jane. Her speech was empowering, and i just remember saying a prayer while i watched the show. I asked God for a vision. I told him i wanted to be so much more. That even though i am thankful for where i am, that i know he wants so much more for me. So i asked him to reveal to me what i really should be doing and give me the strength to take the necessary steps to achieve it.

What really hit me after a couple of hours is this: I have become complacent. Even though i constantly dream about being successful and pray for success, i haven't really done anything major to reach my goals. I haven't stretched myself at all to reach my potential. Rather i have let my circumstances hinder me from acting towards my goals. I have chosen to let the discouraging words from people stop me from reaching my potential. Until i work towards my dreams to make them happen, i will still sit here in a couple of years complaining about how God failed me.

I will make a list of where i really want my life headed and my setbacks. Maybe this will serve as a reminder to myself to get to work.

Goal 1: I need to enroll in a Masters program by August of next year. My goal when i graduated in Dec, 2011 was to enroll in a Masters program by August of this year, but i never worked towards it. I'm normally a bookworm, but i've had zero motivation. It doesn't help either that i'm discouraged every time i decide to work towards it.
Here are a few things i'm told each time i state my desire to start back school.
a) "Why do you want to go to a big school like Emory or Georgia State University? Just go to Walden. It's 100% online and it's easy." What people don't realize is that i don't really like easy. I want to go to Emory and i want to enroll in their dual Masters degree program: Masters of Science in Nursing(MSN) and Master of Public Health(MPH). Again, like many times, if i set my mind to do this, i totally can do it.
b) "If you want to make money, you better primarily focus your MSN on the Family Nurse Practitioner role." Unfortunately, while this will yield a lot of money, i don't really enjoy working with kids. I love working with my Adult patients, and naturally, i would rather go for the Adult-Gerontology route.


Goal 2: I would love to be a travel nurse at some point in my life. This most likely would have to come before my Masters or right after. Some of the perks of being a travel nurse are:
a) Greater Pay: You get paid a little more than a regular nurse. But you are also offered free accommodation or a stipend, which can go from $1800-3000 in addition to your regular pay.
b) Experience: Most travel nurses are contracted to work at a hospital 13 weeks or more before their agency sends them somewhere else. The exposure to different clinical settings can only make one a better nurse.
c) Exposure to different cities and states: You get to work and explore different cities and states at the same time.



Goal 3: Move back to Nigeria in 5 years time: To honest, if i find a good job in Nigeria, i'll totally postpone my Masters and take the opportunity. I hate it here, to be honest and i'm ready to relocate.



I know i'm usually the encourager and tend to inspire people around me, but today, i feel stuck and i want to vent to myself on my blog and also pledge to myself to do the following:
To live,
To be present,
To work towards my goals,
To not let my circumstances hinder me. (Really if i move, God will move)
To dream big
To not allow anyone talk me out of my dreams
To make decisions and follow through

PS: My blog may take a different turn from here on, but it will continue to serve to inspire, even if to inspire myself alone.

As always, thank you for reading,
Ak